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I found the following simple and powerful, even to the level of organisational change. It goes right to the core of why people do what they do, which impacts everyone in an organisation.

Seth’s Blog: Doing what gets rewarded

Two points:

– People always believe they are right ‘by their own method’ i.e. The process they have followed in their heart and mind to choose whatever behaviour they have just enacted. When we can understand those methods for people, we understand them and can support and help them do more of that, if it’s a positive behaviour, or invite them to another place if it’s not

– Ribbons seem to be the world’s view on how we should reward. Awards, money, badges. Ribbons. Yet I have always found the most profound reward I can give someone, without question, is when I have tapped into an element at the core of their being that they would die for and which is at the root of their belief system and I link their behaviour with that. It requires strength, reflection, and courage.

This is all relationship over ribbons as I am seeking their heart and their purpose in life and showing them how they are a light worth shining from the hilltop thanks to their behaviour. It is the tougher path of course as it requires diligence in denial of self method and seeking to understand another’s method and story.

Yours in relationship,

Daniel

You cannot understand the person whom you dislike… You do not, cannot, see them as they are, but see only your own imperfect notions of them… To see others as they are you must not allow impulsive likes and dislikes, powerful prejudices, or egotistic considerations to come between you and them… People misjudge, condemn, and avoid each other because they do not understand each other, and they do not understand each other because they have not overcome and purified themselves. (James Allen)

If only the world were full of people who would read and adapt material like this into their daily ritual and focus.

Surely, truly, the world would be a better place, for finally everyone would be focusing on improving themselves… and seeking to understand others.

Go on, apply it in any situation, to any group of people anywhere and tell me it doesn’t work.

I know it works for me for all the people I have managed to ‘righteously claim dislike for’.

The great leaders get this and apply it.

It’s why we look upon them and call them great.

It’s why, if we seek to lead, our only option is to mimic them.

Join me and let’s do all within our power to remove the blindness of dislike for those that we need to.

Daniel

No business or organisation will grow beyond or mature past the collective ability of its team and their personal growth. Can a 10L bucket hold 12L of water?

This is quite a challenging thing for me personally as at this stage I’m only mature enough to have built a team of five! What a wonderful team of committed people they are though… obviously I need to grow some more! It’s ok, I’m working on it, constantly!

I believe the biggest thing a leader can do is be a catalyst, an inspirer, a connector for people to truly become the best they can. It leads to very successful businesses and people who are responsible for their own growth, fuelled by their own passion about becoming better and contributing to a better result.

As a leader in a team, business, or organisation it is surely the most important role we have to create a system that builds and grows great people, either to produce great results within our team or beyond in a world badly in need of it. I will go out on a limb and say that surely if we fear particular team members moving on as many do in building leadership with their team, then maybe we haven’t grown enough ourselves to build a system in our own teams that we can place anyone into, with the right attitude, to ensure we constantly produce amazing results.

To do all of this, we need to build bigger buckets … constantly.

That’s what leaders do.

One of the great shames nowadays is all the different ways we’ve come up with to avoid one magical question that can changes someone’s day, when asked with meaning, intent, and dare I say it, love.

The question I’m referring to is ‘How are you’.

I believe we used to use it with far more empathy and we used to mean it. In our fast paced world and techniques of avoidance – you can’t go too deep with just anyone! – we’ve changed it to phrases like ‘What’s up’… err the sky. ‘Whadda ya know?’ … hmmm “lot’s and not much”. Or worst of all, we actually ask “How are you?” but really don’t care and simply are being polite, the encounter an interruption to a busy day and all that needs doing because my day is all about me!

You see the old fashioned approach was to take time and energy when meeting people to actually ask them ‘how are you’ and then genuinely listen for their reply then connect with them. For me, one of the more beautiful elaborations on this theme actually came from the movie Avatar. There is a tribe called the Na’vi tribe who live on the planet Pandora where the story takes place and their standard greeting when they met was ‘I see you’. It’s far deeper than the words though. It was said with meaning, a gaze filled with intent that emanated from the big emotion filled eyes of the Na’vi. It communicated so much for just three short words, the key component communicated one of understanding. ‘I see you’ really said “I’m stopping and taking time to connect with you, your life, who you are AND I care.”

For me it is surely one of the more magical lines of the movie, said many times, as it also espouses the connectedness and community that existed within this magical tribe who completely understood we truly are all connected and to ‘see’ each other was so important that it had to be recognised in such a powerful ‘standard’ greeting.

I’m not suggesting you go out and start greeting people with “I see you”, you might get arrested! However today, let’s look at ourselves and reinvigorate our “How are you”. The first challenge I have is actually use those words, it asks a commitment from the speaker if nothing else. Then lets learn something that’s very real from the very fictional Na’vi people and when we greet people, let’s communicate all that I believe the Na’vi tried to with their greeting. You never know you might connect with someone, a team member, friend, boss. Maybe even your son, daughter, father, mother, wife or husband who really needed you to stop and care. You might even change someone’s life. That’s what leaders do.

So, how are you?